It is the greatest blessing for children to have a pair of parents who can "carry things".

/September 2023

Source: ID:boy666dj
psychologist he Lingfeng once shared a parenting experience:

one day, he Lingfeng suddenly received an angry phone call from his teacher, so he hurriedly asked for leave and rushed to school.

as a result, I was reprimanded by the teacher:

"do your parents think it's all right after giving birth? It's all on our school teachers to educate our children? Do you know that your child has made a mistake on the same math problem for the fourth time? How do you become a parent? "

in the face of the teacher's severe question, he dared not retort, so he could only kindly admit his mistake and apologize to the teacher.

when he got home, he saw his daughter huddled at the table, looking nervous.

but instead of getting angry, he Lingfeng made up a passage to comfort her:

"the teacher said that your paper has been much cleaner recently and that you have a more correct and conscientious learning attitude than before. I hope you will examine the questions carefully and check more calculations when you do the exercises in the future, so that your grades can be improved. "

after hearing this, my daughter breathed a sigh of relief and went to study happily.

someone didn't understand what he Lingfeng did, so he explained:

"I was scolded by the teacher for being unhappy. I went back to scold the child again, which was just to vent my emotion."

it's not my fault that the child can do the problem.

my bad mood should be digested by myself instead of transferring it to the child. "

finally, he said meaningfully:

his words moved countless parents.

to be honest, this generation of children is really not easy:

not only face the growing educational volume and bear great pressure, but also carry the expectations of the whole family.

I once heard a friend talk about her tragic experience.

for as long as I can remember, my mother's sighs haunt her every day:

when buying food, the peddler is short, the leader is always making things difficult at work, or how irresponsible her father is.

when it comes to affection, mothers still shed tears and lament the injustice of fate.

when she was young, she wanted to share for her mother, but there was nothing she could do, so she could only insist on being the most loyal listener.

but over time, she gradually becomes depressed and finally suffers from depression.

psychologist Wu Zhihong once said.

in daily life, Don't transfer the negative energy in your heart to the child, let alone let complaining ruin the child's life.

seeing a video on Douyin, the child asks:

"Mom, do you work so hard because of me?"

Mom replied:

"No, baby. Work is hard because work is hard, no matter who does it, it will be hard.

just as lemons are sour, no matter who bites, they will feel sour. "

just a few words, warm heart and cure.

No wonder some netizens wrote in the comments section: if my parents could have told me the same way when I was a child, I would have had a completely different happy childhood.

if parents complain all day long and convey negative thoughts, their children will also be preoccupied and full of negative energy.

if the parents are emotionally stable, calm and calm, then the child will be positive and sunny, no matter what difficulties they encounter.

Japanese industrialist Kazuo Inamori had a printing business in his family when he was a child, and his economic conditions were very good.

but the good times didn't last long. A sudden war destroyed all the machines in the factory, and my parents' savings in the bank were instantly turned into waste paper.

although the whole family is often underfed, her mother, Ji Mei, is not pessimistic and depressed.

instead, he sold his kimono, got up early and went to the countryside late in the morning and went to the countryside late in the morning to do some small business in exchange for food.

Kazuo Inamori later recalled in his book:

it was his mother's positive and optimistic attitude in the face of adversity that made his difficult childhood full of glory.

so when he grew up, no matter what failures he encountered in business, he was never discouraged, because his mother's strong faith and love gave him the strength and hope to overcome difficulties.

more children will love themselves and others from the bottom of their heart.

in the 2022 National Blue Book on Depression, there is a startling set of data:

50% of the depressed patients are in school.

Depression patients under the age of 18 account for 32% of the total.

this generation of children are facing unprecedented competition. They are under tremendous pressure to go to school every day, and many people have long had scars on their hearts.

as parents, we certainly can't change the external environment, but at least we can bear some anxiety and pressure for our children in the small family environment.

in the documentary "Great Mom", there is a special Haidian mother Li Qi.

she and her husband are both returnees from famous universities, high achiever, with a successful career, but her son is a veritable "low achiever".

when the children around them are busy skipping the grade examination, Li Qi did not blindly join the chicken baby army, but calmly accepted the children's commonness, and even took the initiative to give up the early training and selection of the Middle School affiliated to Renmin University of China.

because she always adheres to this educational concept:

"every child is born with a mission, and he has his own way. What parents need to do is to circumvent their weaknesses and maximize their children's strengths. "

when she finds that her son is very interested in programming and editing although he is not good at study, she always tries her best to support her son.

under her "governing by doing nothing", her son not only has a large number of fans in bilibili, but also has a first-class programmer and has a clear plan for the future.

in terms of educational concepts and methods, pulling out seedlings and encouraging them is a choice, as well as waiting for flowers to bloom.

Harvard high achiever Zhan Qingyun once attracted a lot of attention because of his outstanding talent in the wonderful work.

but what few people know is that she has transferred schools six times since childhood, and her grades are often at the bottom of her class.

the teacher once gave up on her and decided that she would not be admitted to high school, so she might as well go to technical school as soon as possible.

but my mother doesn't take these negatives to heart. On the contrary, her mother always gently and firmly says to her:

"Don't worry, Mom will give it to you. By the fourth grade, you will be the best student in the school."

this sentence, of course, did not come true, and her mother comforted her again:

"Don't worry. Mom recalculated it. The time she became the first in the grade was in the first year of junior high school."

in her mother's white "lies" year after year, Zhan Qingyun finally enlightened after entering high school. Later, he was admitted to the Chinese University of Hong Kong, counterattacked all the way, and stood on the broader stage.

there is never a unified formula for education, and each child has his or her own time zone.


in the Variety "Juvenile Shuo", a high achiever stands on the rooftop and cries out his heart grievously:

" I got a full mark in math, and you will say to me, it's normal, other people are much better than you. "

who knew my mother was unimpressed and just responded coldly, "I'm just afraid of your pride and want you to work harder."

the boy suddenly broke down and cried, "but you can't just look at my weaknesses and ignore my strengths!"

psychologist Dr. Susan Foward said:

"No child is willing to admit that they are worse than others. They want to be recognized by adults, and their understanding of themselves often comes from adult evaluation."

parents repeatedly mentioned "other people's children" not only will not make their children better, but also personally cut off the bridge of communication, so that children's hearts are farther and farther away from themselves.

has an account on Douyin where a mother shares her daughter's daily routine.

in the video, the 10-year-old girl Longlong is always busy in the kitchen, bringing out bread, cake, hamburgers, pizza and other delicacies, all of which look very attractive.

it is understood that long long has been interested in delicious food since he was a child, and later, he took" getting a higher entrance examination and learning to bake "as his goal.

ordinary parents must have been furious and busy pulling their daughter back to the "right track" when they saw that their daughter was "not doing her proper job".

but Longlong's family is very reasonable and never compares her with her peers.

Mom said: <& quot;js_blockquote_wrap\ & quot; "data-type="\ & quot;2\ & quot; "data-url="\ & quot;\ & quot; "data-author-name="\ & quot;\ & quot; "data-content-utf8-length="\ & quot;93\ & quot; "data-source-title="\ & quot;\ & quot "data-text=" & quot; "some children are suitable for reading. They can find happiness and motivation in books. Some children are suitable for baking, and she can find happiness in the process of making desserts. I don't envy other people's children's straight An on their final transcripts. Because (her) except that her grades are not all straight A, all others are all straight A. " \ & quOt; "data-editid="\ & quot;heuilx67ayg0000000\ & quot; ">

so, the mother will buy the raw materials for her daughter, help her help her daughter clean up the kitchen;

my brother will help shoot and edit and record her sister's progress every time.

it is precisely because of such unconditional affirmation and acceptance that Longlong can work happily in the kitchen, and the family can often get together to taste Longlong's craftsmanship, and the family is happy and warm. Xa0

good parents must have uncontrastive wisdom.

Let go of face and comparison, explore the unique bright spots of children, and encourage them to be the best they can be.

after all, a good parent-child relationship is better than all great education.


I have seen such a saying:

so don't underestimate how parents stand up to their children every time.

Children can feel the love from their families and become more sunny and confident;

to resist anxiety, children can have a relaxed and stable state of mind and find the most suitable path for them.

only by keeping up with the comparison can we really go into the child's heart and harvest a harmonious and intimate parent-child relationship.

in this way, no matter what happens to the child, the love from his parents will give him unlimited strength and strength to grow up freely and happily.

click watching , share with all parents.

contribution Wechat: little19820417